first crush

I was about 11 at that time. We have been classmates since from LKG. Somehow, Srikanth an average student has transformed into a ‘very’ good student by then. She used to always top the class and I used to stand second or third mostly. This trend continued from 5th to 7th standard. I was always attracted to girls since from childhood (even more now!!) and used to always try different things to impress them. The fact that I had very little skills in any other departments (still it is the case), I had to rely on my academic performance mostly to impress them and it worked. I used to constantly interact with her regarding homework, notes etc… It was just an excuse and I knew this even at that time. In fact, this was the weapon that worked until my under graduation. We all seek attention in one way or the other and for that you need to be special in some way.

There are two small stories which I would like to share here. During my 6th or 7th standard (I can’t remember exactly) we had a teacher who used to make girls and boys sit next to each other (mixing) rather than girls sitting on one side and boys on the other. Boy oh boy, I liked this idea great time! Initially, I and she were sitting side by side but then for some reason our teacher has asked me to sit in some other place. I felt bad and angry but I had no other choice.

One other time, I saw her with another friend (girl) from our class on the road. I tried to follow her and then eventually decided to give them a surprise. Once I was fairly sure where they were heading I took a shortcut and the plan was intersect their way! I managed to do that, they saw me and she smiled at me. That was a killer! I was happy and heading home. I was so happy that I decided to jump over a small wall/barrier at a shop just for the heck of it. Bang!! It was all blank for a couple of seconds and then I realized that I fell down and my left hand was badly injured.  Was on the ground again! People gathered in no time, lifted me up and cleaned my clothes. I knew that something went wrong with my hand but I kept pretending to myself that everything is OK. Next morning I wake up only to find that my hand is swollen big and we knew it broke. Given our financial condition at that time I cursed myself for quite sometime for this stupid action. My first crush indeed cost me!

Most of us changed our schools after 7th standard due to various reasons. I rarely heard about her after that. Back in 2004, accidentally I saw her in Hyderabad. I was excited. Went to her and introduced myself but obviously as it was an accident either of us had any time. We immediately went our ways. Never heard of her ever since…

My love with fuck

Decided to break the long silence that is prevailing in this blog. Fuck this silence, I hate it. Yes, you heard it right I just said “fuck”.

I picked it up on this word in the last couple of years and over this period my usage of it has grown exponentially. Thanks to my western friends! Though I never got a weird or strange expression out of some one (especially the westerners) while using it but I had to be more careful of its usage with Indian friends (conservative) around. I decided to find out the reason behind this new habit. After giving my brain a little work I realized that more often people don’t use in the context of dictionary meaning. They more often use it to express various emotions and feelings. I also found this video which is fucking awesome and which exactly says what I am after

Wasn’t it fucking awesome?

Until next time…..have a fucking good time.